Katharine Gilpin’s Story of ‘Why’
What is it about speaking up and being heard that is so important for me to share with you, to help you find, express and deliver your ‘voice’?
Not only was my mother raised in the Great Depression mentality of scarcity but she firmly believed in the safety of secret keeping, of holding everything in, hiding her true self 
from everyone. I believe she got that from her mother who had immigrated to the US from Austria as a toddler and harbored a secret about her true birth year and parentage her entire life, for perceived “safety’s sake”.
My mother expertly modeled for me the pain of not feeling free to live in open expression, of suffering in silence and martyrdom. Periodically she exploded or imploded, ending up in hospital with a nervous breakdown or in an addiction “dry-out” clinic. In my memory her she lived an insular, “contracted” life: physically, emotionally and mentally. I believe that was the ultimate cause of her untimely death in her mid-seventies.
Growing up, I felt my only safety was to remain silent and hide so as not to make any waves. I did not deserve to have desires – only needs, which colored my world in muted dark tones. Getting in touch with my true opinion on any matter placed me in a self-inflicted danger zone. Maybe that is why I gravitated to theatre in high school. On stage I could literally act out emotions, and in directing others I helped create and shape a new reality that was safe and accepted.
In my private world I spoke up only upon request; after all, I was implicitly raised to “be seen and not heard”. I grew into that truth: “well-behaved – make no waves”, keeping quiet and holding back. However, when from deep within, something bubbled up to the surface, a thought or opinion I felt was worthy and wanted to share, I was amazed that when I did manage to voice it, others took notice, respected my opinion and even valued my contribution.
To contribute and be heard, to value what you have to offer as deserving to be acknowledged and heard as much as everyone else’s opinions, thoughts , desires, needs and feelings – that is the sense of liberation, freedom and creativity I impart. I share the platform with you, In Your Own Words, Women.
To hear The Power of Sharing Your Story interview for Believe Inspire Grow on July 13, 2017 where Katharine talks about her background, training and passion, CLICK HERE.
Learn more about Katharine at www.KatharineGilpin.com
Diane Marie Ford’s Story of ‘Why’
My inspiration for ‘coming out’.
My bags were packed and I was ready to embark upon another journey to yet another workshop in my continued quest for self-discovery. I was seven years sober and oh, so curious and vulnerable. “The answers have to be out there somewhere!”
Although I had peeled back many layers of my ‘onion’ since early sobriety and always questioned my purpose and existence as I came to love and accept myself for all that I am – I struggled with not feeling comfortable in my skin.
From a very young age I had ‘liked’ girls. Yes, I had girl crushes for as far back as I can recall. I did not think there was anything ‘wrong’ with that, until, at the tender age of 13 when my best friend Patty and I decided to pledge our love by exchanging rings. That afternoon I returned home from school to share my exciting news with my mother. “We’ll talk about that when your father comes home.”
Talk about ‘that’ we did. I was told “girls don’t marry girls”. “They just don’t” was their response when I asked them “Why?” I was instructed to return the ring to Patty the following day. Patty never spoke to me again. I still did not know what to do with the information my parents passed along to me, as it did not make sense. They took something as pure and simple as a girl crush and turned it into something “wrong and bad”. Suddenly I felt shame and a need to hide how I felt. I started lying to protect myself. A few years later I learned it was easy to hide my feelings in drugs and alcohol.
During the second year of my sobriety I met the person with whom I knew I would share the rest of my life. I also had the realization that one of the gifts of sobriety was the freedom to tell the truth. Rather, the necessity of telling the truth, if I were to remain sober. At the age of 41, I ‘came out’ to my family. Although I had found and expressed my truth, I did not know that was simply another step in my quest for self-discovery.
Off to my workshop in June of 1998 at Rowe Camp and Conference Center in Rowe, Massachusetts to sit at the feet of my one of my greatest teachers and mentors, Marianne Williamson.
There were only seventy-nine of us seeking spiritual nourishment that weekend. We were open to receive and receive we did! The weekend was intimate, raw, holding, meaningful and so full of love. I was taken by the effortlessness with which Marianne conveyed her teachings. I wondered how someone could be so passionate, so full of thunder and intention, while being so graceful and loving.
I learned so many simple lessons that weekend. Lessons I had been stepping over all of my life, or not ready to receive – until that weekend. One of the most important lessons was everything I need, I have within.
I realize that sounds elementary – but let me tell you, at that time in my life, that moment along my journey, Marianne’s messages landed squarely in my heart and soul. I ‘got it’. I had, up until that weekend, been searching and searching – always looking outside of myself, when all the while, everything I needed was within.
I began a meditation practice and learned how to quiet my ever-curious mind to listen to that still, small voice within. My life continued to unfold and blossom. Six years later, after resigning from corporate America, I founded my own company and chose Listen To Thyself as the name, because of its profound simplicity.
Each and every day provided and continues to provide a new opportunity for me to speak my truth and stand in my power, with thunder and passion. I savor the gifts of sobriety and self-expression, step by step, day by day.
It has been twenty-six years since I made the decision to speak my truth and ‘come out’ to my family. I have traveled quite a distance, spiritually and emotionally. Though the journey has tested me and continues to challenge me, I could not have traveled this distance alone.
In reflection, I know I would never have had the courage to say what I needed to say, or to be who I was dying to be, without support, without my teachers, mentors and the lessons they were (are) compelled to share.
Nothing compares with the feeling and energy you experience when you are understood and within the company of those who ‘get you’. There is power and safety in community.
When we as women, are supported and support one another, we become a force not to be reckoned with. We thrive. Women feel invincible within a community of other loving women.
Today I live in freedom unlike I have ever lived in my 67 years because I am free to be who I am and express my feelings. I no longer feel the need to hide. Oh, trust me, it didn’t happen overnight and I didn’t accomplish it by myself. It took courage, self-love, encouragement, support, belief and a community of like-minded loving people who believed in me enough to nurture and bring out the best in me.
We would like to offer that to you.
We are committed to building and nurturing a thriving community of self-expressed, women and we hope you decide to allow In Your Own Words Women to become your community.
We promise to help you self-express, grow, write and hold the space for other women to do the same.
Learn more about Diane at www.ListenToThyself.com